T'was...tha night before...
I shouldn't use that, since that line is already part of history.
But, I feel like something crazy is about to jump off in our life,
Somethang greater than just tha focus on me.
Listen, I gotta be honest, so don't judge me,
I just woke up from a crazy nap, late on this Friday night.
One which I had tha ultimate Poker game at a Family Reunion,
Everybody was there...Oh, what a sight.
What was so interesting was that I had tha ultimate hand,
Yep...I'm about 2 get loose, so let me just play 'Fun' part.
My hand read...10-Jack-Queen-King...
Along with an Ace...By tha way, or of course, all those cards were all in...Hearts.
Now even my dreams reflect this new attitude in life,
So tonight, I might as well write about winning in this game of...Love.
I have no bones about what we are about to say, who cares,
Now we soak our bath using Fun's soap...but tonight it's Love that becomes tha suds.
Gonna let this all flow, just tell thangs like it is,
Then go back to sleep, and hit reset, for what could truly be somethang special.
Huh...taking a bath...taking a bath...I like that...
Galaxia, simply relax and let go...and grab ur thinking shampoo...supplied by Paul Mitchell.
(Sigh.)
Recently I've never been one to wear a bathrobe around tha crib,
Although, when I was a Twinkling Star, I wore one all tha time.
Stumbling around our Indiana home, in robes with only our initials missing on them,
If Richie Rich lived in tha "Hood", then at 508 Spring Street is tha address he'd reside.
Put on my furry flip flop slippers, with my toes hanging out,
Moms turning on tha bath, as my Pops would watch Three Stooges on Channel 50.
Think about that, a pretty woman turning on tha cleansing, and a funny man watching comedy,
And now u know why my jokes and future girlfriend will somehow be a little...filthy.
I think about those days, as today I begin to take this special bath,
This bath in which, I'm gonna need u all's help, cuz now it's been all tha shower.
Maybe that's tha problem, I've been so focused on standing up in Fun and Love,
But...I need to soak everythang end...Now...where's my Land's End candle flower.
It's been awhile, so forgive me, alright,
This package just came in tha mail, so I hope I got everythang.
This bath is about to be tha best one I've ever taken yet,
My CD player is already set by tha faucet and definitely is ready to sing.
I got Celine Dion, Celia Cruz...
And this bootleg album titled, Love Songs To Be Used Only For A Bath.
This small guy dressed as Cupid gave to me, as I came to a stoplight next 2 Luv's club,
Telling me, 'This got tha new one from Gloria Estefan feat. Eminem, so it's got 2 be had.'
Sounded suspect, but I'll do anythang for love, I guess,
So as u can see, I'm well prepared to get in my Friday night solo soak.
Let's crank open this package for sum more goodies,
Somehow I hear my homegurl from Britain yell, "Get on with tha package u stupid bloak!"
Let's see, this packaging is so unique, like I've never seen before,
Wrapped all up in red bubble wrap...I know about 3 girls who will love this wrap to 'Pop'.
Does my whole life revolve around sexy girls, and how they make me smile?
Sooner or later, on this Abbey Love road, Yield has to be no more, and one day I have to suddenly Stop.
Just on today, I told my homie Gizzy about a thought that just hit us,
One about how come Hispanic girls have made tha heartbeat of my heart so hard to tame.
Then after all these years, it hit me to why I've admired so many Senoritas,
Because my Mom's name is actually "Senora"!!...Perhaps a Bonita will one day have tha Galaxia name.
I know this one gurl who I would love to be Mrs. Galaxia, but that's later as we soak,
Before we jump in though, let's get out some more stuff that we ordered.
There's some good stuff in here, that Y'all ain't even up on,
Things personally made for me, sum u can only get from over tha Canadian border.
Speaking of which, that cutie Karina, still owes me a night out...or a 'Play Date',
Guess since we couldn't get together, she just decided to send this.
Awww....Look, it's another CD, one titled, Tha Sounds of Niagara Falls,
May put that in as we go to sleep, got more in here from our box of simple wish.
See, this is what I'm talking about right here...A Rubber Ducky.
Not just any ducky though...Can't u tell since he has a crazy hat like he's front row at tha Grammy's.
Vivienne Westwood sent this too me, as a gift for all tha years of having fun,
Look at this note: 'Galaxia, this is 4 u 2 use 2 relax...And continue to give this world an Eye Jammy!'
That's so nice of her, I love it when we get love from abroad,
Nothing like beauties who have experience in this game of life.
I'm gonna use this Rubber Ducky for sure in a few moments,
Where it's gonna be suds, this ducky, and my One Mic.
Oh...Galaxia, u are a freak to tha bone...'One Mike'...
Which is entirely true, I mean just look at what else I pulled from this box.
Need to put on my glasses...To...Be...Used...After...Taking...A...Bath...
Oh snap I always wanted this...An edible thong set...And they even included tha matching sock!
See u gotta to have that latex sock, nowadays u can't take any risks,
That sock provides protection in more ways than one.
I can go further into detail in regards to what I mean, ya dig,
But I still got some goodies to reveal, tell me this ain't like some Christmas Morning fun?!!
Philosophy finally sent me my 3-In-1 bath kit,
Don't tell anybody this, but I'm tha only one in tha Galaxy that has this particular make.
I met C.Carlino a few months ago, told her about how I'm gonna be a Star one day,
She teamed with Pillsbury 2 give me a super exclusive...Now I have my own bath bottle of Funfetti Cake.
Thanks!!! Boy, tonight is becoming a special night for sure,
I need it cuz this week as seemed like...Everythang was on...me.
Like if I don't do this...or if I don't 'honor' tha game, it just won't get done,
Which can seem unfair, but then again life can be Honey Nut Cheerios...Guess I'm tha busy bee.
No time to dwell on tha past, just gonna Let It Go like Keyshia and Missy,
And get ready to have a private party, one that's gonna be on full throttle.
Don't believe me, just look what else I just pulled from this gift box,
A huge, and I do mean, HUGE...with a personalized note, Moet and Chandon Imperial bottle.
Man, I'm gonna Pop this Champagne top right now...(Pop!)
(Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!) Ahhh...boy that tastes straight up like tha year 1995.
This note is...in French...Don't my homeboys know I don't speak that language?
Only things I know French is Fries...Montana...and Kiss...which is better with a camera rolling on tha side.
Boy, I got tha goods for real, for this memorable bath,
Anythang else? Is there anythang that wasn't sent to Tha Kid?
I remember as a kid these freaking toys, alphabet letters or play pirate ships,
They were small, but when placed in water, they would enlarge...Yes, they did.
Those were my favorite...Now...please tell me somebody hooked me up with those,
YES!!! Mattel...I love you! You know how I think u're tha ultimate when it comes to toys.
Looks like a fun and love bath kit as well...Man, all these gifts are too much.
Got those letters, and only the numbers two and one as in '21'....my favorite number...I feel like a little boy.
I'm gonna throw them Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett's in tha water,
And act like I'm at Great America or at tha old Indiana park...Splash Down Dunes.
It's 11:51pm, so I need to gather up my stuff, and head 2 tha bathroom,
But there's no need to rush, I got time...I'm not gonna exhaust all my fumes.
Ok. Got tha goods, now it's time to strip to my undies, oh boy...
This is why I always say, I have to be with a girl who ain't ashamed of her body.
Whether that's on tha sandy beach or walking around her crib half booty naked,
I can still be with a girl who dresses like a Nun...I mean, I'll just add that 2 my list of relationship oddities.
When I say I love Emporio Armani briefs, they think it's just because I think I'm Italian,
I mean, yes I do luv Vespa's and Cannes Film Festival dames, but that's not tha point.
They give me tha support I need, like no other brand that is out there,
Plus, I had to go to tha hospital cuz I had Big Balls...I never wanna go back 2 that joint.
No wonder I'm such a risk-taker, and don't care about making a fool of myself,
So much so, that I actually had to go see a Doctor for this particular condition!!
She...and Yes, it was a She...just rubbed around my Big Johnson, and gave me some Big Boy Aspirin,
All with Gaby Espino acting on TV in tha backdrop...It was like God signed my Slip of Permission!
Then I had 'Sin' with me...literally...U can't even make this up...
But Sin's my homegurl forever, and is my Ryde or Die whenever I'm in a Fun mode or emergency need.
I don't call or text her too often after 11pm though...
Remember a call after those hours can plant a sometimes a very complicated Booty Call seed.
Alright, let me begin to run this water...(Swooosh!)
I hope it don't get to freaking hot or cold...I want it to be just right.
Enough for me to gather my thoughts on tha drama called my life,
And think about how I can go from 1.2 to at least 20.2 million viewers...overnight.
Chocolates...Chocolates...Let me get my trail mix from Target,
Chocolate Cranberry is tha only choice, for that's tha only one that prevents a pimple.
WHYYYY am I so high-maintenance, to I even have to count tha gram sugar count in rice,
Tha story of my life...Egotistical to be tha best, Detail-Oriented to tha bone...Yet...ever so simple.
I might take advantage of that Match.com, free-trial period,
And put that as my Heading...Oh, tha thoughts of Galaxia when it comes to Amor.
Alright, that's enough water for now...Time to strip into Jeanette's birthday suit...(That's a joke! BTW!)
Which means, I'm naked like that banging Spice Gurl song, and my hip briefs are now on tha floor.
Ah...Ah..still nothing like stepping into some fresh bath water...Ahhh....Yeah!
Freakin' Son of a Gun...My Philosophy bottle is over across tha bathroom.
I don't feel like getting out of this bath, and get everythang all wet,
It's just that I need sum squeezes, I forgot to add tha soapy Va-Room!
Hey, it's been awhile, don't judge me...Forget I'll just hop out of this tub,
(Splat! Splat! Splat!.....Splat! Splat! Splat!)
Why is there such a kiddish joy running around wet when u don't have any clothes on,
Tha only thang this is comparable is playing Twister at a party when ur tha only male guy on tha mat.
Ahhhh...Now we're back in....(Squirt! Squirt!)
That cake smell is really cool...(Swish! Swish!)...just like when I was small.
When the only thing that mattered was that I was clean,
Now as I lay my head back in tha suds, I yearn for tha days when I was beginning to crawl.
So much has been going on, what has become of myself?
I wonder if I've become too much, like why are folks looking at me like I'm crazy?
Just because I like to ride with tha top down, doesn't mean I'm above you,
Though that describes my ultimate Honeymoon chick, Top Down and on top...Oh, my thoughts are so hazy.
Need a sip of this Mo-ET!! (Gulp! Gulp!) Ahhh....
Just realized that I need to cherish each sip, and not Gulp it down like some Heineken.
But since I drinking from tha bottle and not sum wine glass...Going 'Ghetto' or 'Ratchet' wins tonight,
Oh, as I think about my diary, I wonder why I talk about Fun and Love...time and time...again.
Especially this Love thang...Heck, just on this whole bath experience,
Sure if I would 2 write this as a post, somebody would be like this is long as fudge.
It's so revealing to be in a bath with candles, and popping in ur mouth...Trail mix...
Sounds sexy I know, but my only quiet time recently has come from this Funfetti suds.
This whole week just so much when it comes to girls and stuff,
As I've been saying this whole night, u can see that we are constantly surround by beauty.
A few days ago, a guy asked me if I consider this girl or that type of girl more date worthy,
For me to answer that, when it involves skin tone, would go against everythang I believes when it comes 2 a Cutie.
I mean....a gal can be slim...plus size...Beauty comes in all packages,
Ages...Surgeries...and with that I sometimes like tha Pre-...over tha Post-....
Recently, I'm learning tha sexiest moment of a girl is when she's makeup less...
Somethang alluring when a girl wakes up, unbrushed teeth, and simply wanting to listen to 97.3, Tha Coast.
Today...(Gulp! Gu...) Ooops!...(Sip. Sip.)....That' freakin' too Wine Fest corporate,
But on today...(Gulp! Gulp!), I was thinking I'm getting one heckuva Girl Education.
What I'm about to say in this bathtub, I would never dare write in my diary,
It's so personal, it's so I guess real...And I don't want to sound like I'm some 2014 Luv Guru Sensation.
I'm learning Big Time...to let a gurl simply be...a...girl.
And that's what any female wants, and that comes in many forms.
From letting her get her chat on with one of her BFF's...
To allowing her to speak her mind, on if she prefers to have a Coral Gables or South Beach dorm.
Somebody spoke today on how Valentine's Day should be all year and not one day,
I couldn't agree more...If u have somebody then treat them as such, not just on tha One Four.
Be abstract, and be spontaneous when it comes to tha Lovey Dove,
If u do, then u'll find those words, 'Who's ur Daddy!' go from a careless whisper to an unimaginable soar.
Just speaking from what I'm learning as this crazy single guy,
(Gulp! Gulp!) Right now, it's like I can just talk to these suds about any subject.
Suds...what should I do about this one girl that's been on my mind?
I can ask u that question, I mean, we're cool, right? Would u have any words to object?
Yeah, this one girl I still Can't Get Her Outta My Mind,
Just gonna call her Kylie... cuz it's her jam that's shot to my charts Number One.
Going through sum unique experiences with so, and I do mean Soooo many hot girls doing things to us,
Yet she's tha best prototype to tha phrase of..."I now pronounce u Mr. and Mrs. Fun."
Now I'm really open to who, but I really know what...I want.
A few things really stand out as criteria to who I want to be on my side.
One, she has to have a sense of being able to handle tha spotlight,
Being with us, brings quite of bit attention, so from that she can not hide.
Then she...(Gulp! Gulp!) Ahhh!...Thank u Moet for real...
But she has to be able to handle us when we become really famous and have Bill Gates money.
Like we are interested in gurls who are ultra-stylish and stuff, but are grounded,
Meaning she's not big-headed cuz we both are wealthy, and won't think stepping over tha homeless is funny.
Third...I forgot, oh no...I had this whole list in my head this afternoon,
Oh...Yeah, this is a big one, how could I forget this, cuz it might matter tha most.
She has to be real with us, and not be afraid of her personality to shine to me,
If I'm wrong in sumthing, tell me, everythang ain't gonna be perfect, even I sometimes make burnt toast.
For real, sometimes I think people look at us in a 'Awe' or it's tough to explain,
Like I'm somebody who never gets mad or doesn't get disappointed sometimes when I hear a 'No'.
We want somebody who's like...this, this and this...or u pretty decent, but u can improve that, that, and that,
I think relationships should have both parties pushing each other, as this River of Love flows.
When I think about all those thangs...gotta be freakin' honest,
Only one gurl, up to this date, I can say fits that criteria to tha Max.
And what cracks me up, is that I feel like she's tha opposite of me...yet tha same,
Like she's like a Social Network All-Star...while I'm still trying to become a Hall-Of-Famer via Fax.
And as I sit here, in these suds...Oh, shoot, she shouldn't have.
I just noticed that my Funfetti soap, even came with a packet of sprinkles.
Let me tear this package open...(Riiiippppp!!) Looka there...Oh, another note..
'An-ti aging just for u Galaxia. Smiley Face.'...My gurl knows I never age, no need 2 worry about wrinkles.
That's cool...but as I sit here in these Cake Wars suds, I think,
She's almost the answer to so many questions if u were to ask me straight.
U'd be like who's tha one blah, blah, blah, or who inspires you, blah, blah, blah,
And she's tha surprising answer, even though I'm already a Billionaire...I bought stock when Love had low rates.
Now they are super high, but she's tha only one on that market I want to invest in,
It's just weird, and even in my diary, I have written about her...Dig through our old stuff and u shall find.
Yeah, she got a post dedicated 2 her, but there were a lot of hidden innuendo's within other ones as well,
Where she would be tha only one who could see them, and everybody else would be blind.
There are things surrounding this...(Gulp! Gulp!) Yeah, I should stop drinking this right...NOT!!!,
Tonight is for me to relax, and figure out what to do with this dame is think is Top Shelf...No doubt.
So much is surrounding this thang, that I don't even want to talk about,
From boyfriends, to friendships. to if I want really want to take a bite outta love, and go tha "Fast Food" route.
That's another one, she'll only get, but still, that's why I'm taking this bath tonight,
Cuz as I woke up from that looong nap last night, it's now Saturday, I felt weird but ultra good.
That dream had everythang u can want in a winning hand in Poker, matter of fact tha best hand u can muster,
And it wasn't in Spades, Diamonds or Clubs...it was in Hearts...like my love life is about 2 be like it should.
So I lay here in these suds, wondering if I should tell this gal tha deal,
And possibly ruin a friendship, but at least she knows how I think she's different from the rest.
That's another aspect I find with her, that I never really felt,
Another reason why I think she's like.. worthy of having nothing short of the absolute very best.
Like she's tha only girl, I've never thought about sleeping with,
U know in a 'I want to do-you, until ur head knocks over every headboard from Miami to Maine!'
Even though, I feel she's freakin' super hot, I get tha feeling like I want to be around her,
And for me to say that, has to be these fu.....freakin' suds that's making me go insane!
Just saying cuz all tha girls in my past, either for one quick moment,
Or for one night while stalking her Facebook page, I've wanted to see how it would be to have a rodeo.
But with her, no matter how hard I try to vision that, I can't...which is strange...
I just see her being happy on Drives of Ocean, in Purple Ferrari's and walking on Drives of Rodeo.
These thoughts are so private, I hope she never hears any of this, or anybody else for that matter,
That's it, time to pull tha plug...better yet, tonight just let me lay here and go to sleep.
Should I or shouldn't eye, that is tha question...
C'mon Suds talk to me, or else I'll have to send a telegram to Little Miss Bo Peep.
Huh...Ok...U got it.
I have heard from tha Suds, and seemingly what they have told me is this...I think.
U'll get ur chance here soon, but remember that ur tha ultimate catch so don't sweat things,
Funny cuz those Suds just said all that without hesitation or even a single wink.
We shall see, it's been a long night, thinking about these girls,
I'm just gonna stop and let things work themselves out...cuz they will.
If it's meant for me to be with anybody or even that aforementioned girl we spoke of,
It'll happen, and I'm totally at peace cuz in reality my only hope is that her or any girl's bottle of Happy will never have any seal.
I close my eyes and laugh to myself, being soaked in Funfetti,
Our Galaxy is filled with everythang I want and need, and here I lay.
I got in around 10 something Friday night, and now it's 2:04am,
Amazing how Champagne and Gurl Talk can keep u awake literally u tha next day.
It'll be all worth it, I've had a chance to relax, and conversate with myself,
Thinking about things, and letting go of those things I can't control.
One more piece is missing, and that's my sleep mask,
Which I'm now gonna put on, which has numbers and sheep on tha front, for it knows its role.
Perfect hand in Poker, Gifts from so many special people,
And thoughts on opening up Love's sometimes bolted shut door.
This is easily tha most relaxing and sexiest bath I have ever, ever taken...
And it makes u appreciate it and wish...that every night can begin with tha words...
T'was...Tha Night Before.
Love and Have Fun.
Kiss Good Night!
Austino Galaxia.
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