Cinco.

(Curtain Goes Up)

Tha Fifth Season is well under way in my life,

The one in tha middle of Fall and Winter Snow.

One in which everyday seems to feel like Christmas,

And also one where there's no regard for tha dough.

Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall,

Those four seasons are great without any doubt.

But living here in Miami, brings a whole 'nother element,

The 5th season has hit us, where its all smiles and no pout.

Let's see if we can explain a little bit what's I'm trying 2 explain,

Because I know u are giving me funny looks like Laurel and Hardy.

I thought I was ready for it, but our mind has been going in circles,

Welcome tonight to a Galaxian Premiere called...Tha Season Of Party.

(Applause...Lights Go Dim.)

Click!  That nap was so extra short,

Even though it's what, 10:30 on this full of surprises night.

I needed to get rested up for what lays ahead later,

Hanging with Dimes, and who knows 2night I might be tha one who'll get 2 bite.

These girls are about to drive me nuts, for real,

Sexy smiles, curvy bodies, every nite its a different Video Vixen.

Forgot that this is even the Christmas season so to speak,

Maybe they should substitute my name in for Donner and Blitzen.

Three missed text messages, Shoot!

My phone must've been on mute, which totally blows.

Beats having that old Blackberry of mine, which was messed up,

It was like everytime a friend called, it just totally froze.

All of these messages is about this party later tonight,

That's why I took a nap, cuz I need tha energy.

Partying with The Heat, Hanging out in parking lots til Midnight,

Every night getting loose like a South Beach god...that's with a little 'g'.

No time to look back on this year, but I should,

Cuz down here in Miami, has been pure bedlam to tha max.

Going different places, Episodes turning at every turn,

Flipping a coin to see if it's Dominican or Canadian 2 who's ur twin in tha sacks.

Life is all about living, u know,

Taking advantage of every chance a girl may give.

Ooops!  That didn't come out right, so I'm sorry,

But these girls can make u drool...I wonder if Gucci makes silk luxury bibs?

Sure they would send me one if they did, 

And u better believe that I'll rock it like gangsta Al Capone or Mos Def.

Only the Creme of de Creme can pull off this look, for real,

I need to shut up, cuz I'm acting like I got a Out-of-Space confidence in myself.

I know you all sitting in tha audience are wondering two things,

How come these seats are so hard, and why am I sin-glay?

You can laugh, you can laugh, especially u in tha front row,

U wearing tha heck outta that dress, Can I be ur lotion just for one day?!

Now with tha seats thing...Ah, u'll have 2 take that up with tha owner,

This play is so new school, yet I believe Groucho Marx did tha same stage.

If I hadn't known this, I wouldn't have taken tha part,

Just like Phone Contracts, and Alimony's...Read tha fine print on tha front page.

With tha Sin-Glay thang, that's what this play is about,

On this December night, I'm about to show u how it truly feels.

The fun days under tha glowing sun of Miami,

To tha cold nights wondering if finding luv isn't like a game of Let's Make A Deal.

I see this young man, over here, so I gotta explain,

These young folk don't know a thang about quality TV.

Nowadays there are just playing video games or chatting it up online,

What happened to shows like Hang Time and Saved By The B.?

Listen up Shorty, Let's Make A Deal was a show of choices,

You could like take tha money, or choose behind tha doors of three.

So when I talk about luv being almost like that, I just wonder

Is it as easy as calling up Vanna White, and ask her to simply Blindfold Me.

Blindfolds...Boy I can truly get into that,

We're early in this play so we'll wait until after Intermission.

I only get to talk about Sex in five minute interludes,

Anythang more than that, my salary drops, and I'm standing up here on pure commission.

So busy talking to you guys, that I'm forgetting to get ready,

Where's my Brut cologne?  That's always a big time winner.

This is tha difference between waking up to a sexy breakfast, 

Or me being stood up, as tha girl leaves my table that's set for dinner.

(Honk!  Honk!)  Ok, I got it, I got it, Geez...

You guys telling me I can even use tha word sexy one time early?

Never should've taken this job for this crappy production,

I read in Variety how u fired Shakira just because her hair was freakin' curly!

Boy, those Columbian beauties, and Venezuelan and African,

Tonight, this joint is gonna be full with the entire globe.

That's why I'm wearing Havaianas on my feet, a Beetles tee up top,

And Bape army jacket...I'm gonna be a dancing United Nations under those lights of strobe.

People think that being single stinks, I don't know,

Of course, I want to find a gal, but should I just settle like tha sun?

I know that getting married is like reaching tha meaty part of life,

But right now, the carnivores can have it, my fascination lies with all these toasty buns.

(Honk!  Honk!)  I'm talking about burgers, alright...Dang!

Matter of fact skip it, my agency of IMG can foot tha bill.

Got to tell this play unfiltered, how it should be spoken,

Bloody Kat Von D is tha only person I'll allow to tell me..."Now...hold still."

Ok, Where's my Jewelry?...Where's my watch?

M. Jacobs, Diesel, and a Burberry wallet puts on tha finishing touch.

It's not tha names that matter, but tha funky colors that I luv,

And when these girls see me, they are gonna need a long metal crutch.

Alright, this is where you can dim tha lights now.

Thank You!  Don't look at me as I move over to my right.

This play is ghetto as going to tha store with ur hair curler on,

The budget totally stinks...Yet I see tha owner front row at a Money Mayweather fight.

Now u can cut tha lights back on...(Phooomph!)

As you can see, we are now at tha club, right near tha bar.

Everybody is having a good time, dancing it up,

Over there u can see tha cast of Bad Girls Miami...eyes open for a future star.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I must admit that,

Although the other night as my homegirl's house I did have a tiny sip.

A shot of Rum, which went straight down to my soul,

I was cool, although if my folks hear about this they just might flip!

But yeah, I'm about to get to jooking up in here tonight, 

And...Oh, shoot...the DJ just done messed up by playing my song.

Only tha old party animals know this one...Let me see if I still got it...

"All Night Long...Let...Me...See...That...Thong!!!"

Come here girl, we gonna have a good time tonight,

U got some dance moves, beautiful ..."That...Thong-ThongThong-Thong-Thong".

Can u do this one?  Oh u can...I see ya girl,

If u move like this girl, I'd love to see how u move while we play naked Ping Pong.

Whew!  I'm tired, I haven't worked out in like two weeks,

Before u walk away what is your name?

Don't worry about all these people in tha audience they're my friends,

Besides they are like me, and admire tha shaking of hips from a beautiful dame.

"Ariza."  Oh, alright, you have a beautiful name and accent,

You sound like you're from Chile, like from tha city of Santiago.

How did I know?  Girl, I've been around a lot of girls in my life,

Plus, I looove Chilean girls, especially obsessed with tha sister of my friend Big Pablo.

Oh, u gotta go to tha bathroom...I see.

Evidently I shouldn't have said that about Pablo's Little Sis.

Whatever there's more fish in tha sea, especially up in here tonight,

There's like ratio of 8 to 1, girls to guys, after 10 years Santa finally answered my wish.

Look at those beauties over there by tha table, oh man.

Got to get my breath spray out, especially for that one with tha Jersey tan.

Usually I don't date girls with spray tans, but she might be an exception,

Bout to walk over to her, and be straight up..."Girl, I'm ur number one fan."

Here we go, Shhh...u guys in tha front be quiet...Shhh...

Excuse me, Ladies, but no disrespect to all of you, but gurl ur an angel in disguise.

Matter of fact....(Drip!  Drip!), I got to bring out tha Visine for you,

Cuz I've been staring at you for so long, that your beauty has dried out my eyes.

My name is...'I know who you are...

Is this just some kind of show that you write about in your trashy diary blog?

Like I'm gonna be some sideshow for a life that's going nowhere,

You trying to step to me...Before u approach tha high heels, first practice on tha clogs!'

So what do you think audience about this hissy fit?

Should I chill, or go in on her like I'm battling Nas on 99 Jamz?

This chick thinks she's all that, but look at how she's so snobby,

Didn't anybody ever tell her it ain't kosher to b drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon while wearing Versace Pants?

And she wants to catch an attitude with Muah?

"HEY!  OH GIRL!  I COULDA MADE YOU A OVERNIGHT CELEBRITY!"

I'm so tee'd off right now, I got get out of this place ASAP,

SOMEBODY TURN OUT THA LIGHTS!!  And let's go to Act Three.

So as you can see, we are now on our way home,

Don't get it twisted, I see u all looking at my Purple Enzo.

That's what I don't get, we have just about everythang in life,

Yet u have to deal with matters of tha heart that can look like Bozo.

I know I'm driving, but let me pull out my phone,

See that girl, and this girl...There are nothing but "10's" in my contact list.

If you go to my Instagram account, it's more of tha same,

The kind of perfection that makes u wanna open ur mouth and put in a balled fist.

This whole week has left me just shaking my head,

Like this is really getting out of control, somebody needs to hit pause.

Getting sweaty at Blackbird Ordinary, Staying out until five in tha morning,

Then waking up and going back out...all in tha name of tha Holiday cause.

Huh.  Making me think about this Fifth Season,

Am I tha only one who's living in tha midst thereof?

While I'm going hard like we are in Overtime of Game 7, 

Should I just calm down, and peacefully sip chicken soup daily...like a washed up dove.

Here we are, pulling up to my place here on tha left,

For some reason Jefferson Avenue seems quiet for a weekend.

Dark in tha streets, except for these Italian headlights,

That's funny, cuz as I left tonight, those are what I thought would light up my bedroom den.

Oh, boy.  I guess this is just another night in tha books,

Time to finally lay down, since it's almost four in tha morning.

The only thing open is a Denny's and some Red Light District legs,

Hitting a Grand Slam in either case, at least on tonight can seem boring.

I want more, I want more,

Tonight shouldn't be like this...I'm tha hottest thang in town.

Who else gets trailed by two police cars on tha road?

In Out of Tha Closet meetings, my name gets mentioned, and all tha guys simply frown.

Tha Fifth Season is Here,

And I'm caught in tha midst of this shower.

Where money is everywhere, and days are timeless,

Where tha only question I wonder is how wet is her rose bush flower?

I'm in this Season full blown, so I must say it,

I may have been late, but here in Miami it's cool to be tardy.

Don't know how long tha run will be, but for now this Play is so special,

Cuz after so much hard work...it's finally great to be starring in...

The Season Of Party.

Galaxia.