I don't know what I'm more upset about...That the Postal Service is gonna stop delivering mail on Saturdays or that the game of Monopoly is going get rid of the 'Iron' game piece and replace it with a...cat?? What in tha world is going on up in here!
Been a few days since we've written, I guess. As usual just been busy as can be here and there...Hopefully I won't go a rambling, but we'll do our best to get u up to date on what's been going on here in our Galaxia, and here in tha M.I.A, so let's get to it.
People down here sleep in the weirdest places dude? Unfortunately sometimes its not by choice, but still, folks just like take a nap...anywhere. On sidewalks, on the grass of the sidewalks, underneath pickup trucks, in between trees in the grass next to the sidewalks. The thing about the MIA is that it gets so hot down here sometimes, but it ain't tha caliente that gets you, it's tha freakin' sun. U can just be standing still, and u begin to boil. Like today, was kind of humid for a January day, and u just want to take off ur shirt and just go into complete beach mode. (Huh...I wish more girls thought like me!) But as on a typical day, u'll see these cats, just sleeping and snooring underneath some of the most hidden places dude, just 2 hide from the sun. What do these cats do all day that makes them so tired? I hope somebody who lives in Miami is reading this, and can attest that I ain't joking. U see them yawning at like 9am in the morning, and I be like, "Did u have that wild of a night?" They get food delivered to them constantly. I know where I live at off of Jefferson Ave. here in SoBe, u have like people fighting over who gets to leave the food on the sidewalk. Its at least two different people, and I ain't even...See I just heard a cat scream as I wrote this. What tha...Anyways, I ain't even talking about my dude aka the guy in the alley or if u've been reading this diary, the South Beach Legend named "Cat Daddy". Not even talking about him. And I look at the food that is left for these cats, and I promise you it's like some organic pasta or something. I'm thinking this cost like $4 or so when I go to Fresh Market. I gotta sacrifice eating only half a box to make it last for more than one meal, and these kitties get it for free. After sleeping in all morning...Tha easy life.
Have I written since the Super Bowl? I don't think so...Man, when those lights went out at the Superdome, I know tha K-Feds were locking the whole place down. Like, "Nobody move or else..." And we all know what that else is? Being in tha dark can mess u up figuratively and literally...There ain't nothing worse than being at a get-together or a party, and like walking down some steps with nothing but implemented laughter going on as u walking downstairs, and then when somebody sees you, everything comes 2 a complete halt, and u hear nothing but crickets chirping! Being in tha dark....There's nothing like being tired as heck, but having to go 2 the bathroom outta ur dead sleep...But ur so tired that u don't even put on ur eyeglasses, so blindly u walk into the bathroom and don't even bother to cut on the lights, flush, go back to sleep (U wash ur hands, Ew!) and then wake up the next day to the morning sun, and realize that ur aim is as good Blindfolded Joe at a water balloon contest...Being in tha dark, bro....Or how about not having electricity for a night cuz somebody pulled the plug on the entire block, and having to use the light from ur cell phone to just get around ur place. But u then realize that ur charger ain't gonna work, so u have to ration in ur head what's important to you..."Let's see, I can use 30 seconds to cut on the burner for food, I don't need to use the celly to get undress, I may look like Gwen Stefani circa 2000, when I wake up, but who cares? Ah...I can only reply to Facebook once, and when I do, I gotta use short replies like, 'K.', ''Huh', and 'Yea.'. Basically u gotta pull out the Lil Jon Social Dictionary just to make it through the night! Like I said...Being in the dark...It ain't fun.
What else has been going on? Ain't it always funny when u wanna know information on somebody, but u don't really wanna ask them, but u keep ur ears out for any hints. U know, like what there favorite color is, or if they've ever cheated on a Final Exam, or even if they are a switch hitter, if u catch my drift. But I had one of those moments today, trying to figure out if this girl had a boyfriend...U know I got stories about love and relationships over the last few days, this is just one, homi...OMG! My self-made picture is about to fall off the wall in like 2 minutes max. Oh Well! ...So I'm like ease dropping on a conversation to see what's up. It's like u don't wanna go in unarmed. Yeah, the pic just fell off. Did this ever happen to Warhol? ...But u always want to know the deal...It's like going to Wendy's and ordering the 99 cent Chili. Sometimes u can walk into ur usual spot and just order up, "Give me 5 packages of crackers, I'm watching my sodium today!" While other times u walk in and u see who's in the back, and u think, "This guy has a tattoo of the FDA sign on his arm, and on top of that he's wearing a hair net, but he's bald headed. Hmmm?? I think I forgot my wallet in my car at my house, I'll be right back." U know...So I overheard her mention something about her 'boyfriend' which was cool, but I just wondered...I feel like get started on a subject, but...
Why not? Does anybody else have a tough time deciphering if a person is single...has a beau or beau-ette or is married? I say that cuz sumtimes how ur being treated by somebody can lead u to believe one thing but its actually another. Like...I said I wasn't gonna tell anymore love stories during this new season of The New Adventures of Austino Galaxia, but this one just hit us, so...
I remember...(Oh, how I luv to use those words in this diary!)
Ok. So this one girl, I kind of grew akin to. Great conversations, talks about life, and love, and our field of work. She was mad cute too, she reminded me of Marisa Tomei. I could sense that, we feel like muy comfortable talking to each other...as we had been face to face over some time. And more directly, this look in her eyes as she glances at us, and the heat being ignited, when two people get close and u sense ur heart skip a beat, and ur feel her getting closer to u by each word, and then an 'accidental' touch of both of ur bodies occur, and u begin to wonder, "How does she look without..." and u know here eyes are thinking tha same and...I gotta stop, but...Can we be real? I mean.. I know I ain't the only one, ladies ur included too, who feels or has felt that way about somebody. I just know.
So after our great conversations, I begin to move her up the Top 20 countdown, and begin to think that she is competing for this top spot, and she's just one Pam and Tommy Lee video away from actually being number one! Here we are I'm like coming off a typical Miami weekend, and somebody was like did u hear about...let's just call her "Ingrid". And I'm like, "Naw, what's up?" They tell me she got married. And I'm like, "Whah?!?!" I'm like, hold up...just two days ago...LITERALLY...me and Ingrid were indulging in some Grand Ole Opry conversation, now she's got me thinking that she ain't nuthin' but a hound dog! All jokes aside, me and her were super cool, and I thought about all these so-called "signs", at least those according to the Men's Health magazine website, and was thinking asking her to join me on a Groupon date, and she got the nerve to jump the broom on me??? She didn't even mention she had a man...Anyways...
But that's what I'm talking about...Now some people may look at me quizzical, while others are like, "Dude, I'm with you on this." Guys and girls alike...I know some girls who are cool, and super sexy who have guys just give them their every whim, flirting with them ("U need to say 'Hi' when u walk by here." Is that 'posed to work?) It's amazing what us guys would do, with just the thought...I'm totally breaking Guy Code here but...
It's amazing what us guys would do just to entertain the thought that a girl may like them. We'll do anything just to capture a glance or a "Hi." And if a girl taps u on the shoulder, oh man, we might skip the breakfast and go straight to Tiffany's. I've seen guys almost knock me over at laundromats to chase at a glance of a girl. Real talk. I've seen dudes at a Wedding Reception run 75 feet and cut to the beginning of a Soul Train dance line, with drink in hand mind you, all so they could be matched up with that sexy dame, they've been eyeing on all night.. I'm not immune ..I may have told too many Seinfeld jokes or laughed at a non-funny joke, just hopeful that a giggle early can lead to a giggle late...I always like it, when I'm with a girl, not WITH, but with a girl out and about, and other guys try to approach or say things to her, when she's with me. You can try...but I don't that's gonna work buddy. Some wild stuff...
And girls have their ways to. They may be a little more settle, but I see it dude. Sometimes...silence speaks more volumes than actually saying something. Like say, a guy that a girl may like is in a room. They would speak to everybody else, including imaginary friends that nobody can see but them, and ignore me...I mean, that guy in the process. It's almost as if to say, "U're not all that"...but in actuality they stand out because they ignore you on purpose and...Wait a minute...that's what they wanna do, isn't it?! Oh...that just hit me. (Smile!) But its crazy...especially when it comes to all these games the two genders play to get the attention of the other. From how we dress, how we smell, what body parts bump specific other body parts, to a calculated touch on the lower back to dipping to pick up some min-noot piece of lent off the floor to taking a long route to the bathroom to staring at somebody for that extra 15 seconds, all to catch the attention of that handsome or beauty.
I recall this one girl. I was minding my own bid-ness in a place of employment. And this chick was talking with some other girls and stuff. I walk over just doing my thang. Swag on color code: Bright Orange...and she hits me outta nowhere like, "Austin, I know what everybody says about u?" Usually, I'm like, "Whatever." But I asked her, "What do they say?"....She replies, "U ain't nuthing but a flirt." Which immediately brought me go to my black bag of facial expressions, and pull out the "Ugly Face." I'm like, "Whadda u talkin' about?" Next thing I know it, we up here talking about this and that, in public view mind you, and I'm wondering where did she get this E! News Daily breaking news from. I mean, who are her sources. Just because I tell a girl that she looks good, or just because I may share an extra long hug or give a fake massage on a girl's shoulders or make sure a gal feels beautiful when she doesn't or share a wink of an eye or grind dance on a girl when a fast song is on...All this does not make me a flirt!...It simply means I was born one!! (Wink!)
If u know me, u know I'm just kidding...and if u don't, I'm just kidding...sort of. But sometimes people can call u certain things or label u things, when they don't really know you, or they wish the attention that u're giving somebody else, u would give to them. Life is about having fun! Everybody included...I know tha last few weeks, and we've mentioned it in this diary, do I feel like really sharing my level with fun with others. Do I feel like pulling out the beauty and potential I see in so many, of all shapes and sizes, like is it worth it. I guess time will tell. Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the moment as they come. Things are kind of rush rushy in our life, when u got so many things u wanna do, and can do and will do...But u have 2 slow things down. Whether about money or even this aforementioned love and dating thang. Let the moment speak. And just be ready. And after all we've learned and been prepared for...all I can say is that...
We're all elephant ears.
Of course, I want mine with extra sugar.
And I won't have it any other way.
Austino Galaxia.
Oh...For all you Flirts out there, here's the video for today's title. Enjoy!
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