Oh, how our soul has felt,
These last several days.
Felt like the highest of the high,
But at the same time stuck in our ways.
Its so weird, don't think u understand,
How much I feel like it's the finto.
All without tha mansion, tha wife,
And that purple waxed Enzo.
I've said that this is it,
Many times a more.
No more writing, no more poems,
No more laughs to hit tha floor.
But tonight, there's an air,
Like our life has hit tha mud.
Like no matter how bad I want it,
Our dreams are busting like a bubble sud.
Never in our life, have I felt like this,
I'm on my knees like how can this be.
Been prepared to change tha world,
Now I feel blinded, and cannot see.
Is this what the great ones go through?
MJ, Ruth, and even Elvis P.
Do u have to reach ur emotional valley,
As a precursor to the ultimate glee?
I'm different, I know,
And now realizing it is no great feat.
I've always felt like the odd ball out,
Yet still having that VIP seat.
I just wonder, just wonder,
Does anybody else feel like they are a weirdo?
Laugh at corny jokes, Eat items with no sugar,
And even dress like a star slash hobo?
Throughout this diary, we've tried,
Just to bring u into our Galaxian fold.
The stories are legend, the girls are a plenty,
It's just epic to consider some are still untold.
There's just this fire within,
One that can barely be put into ink.
Sometimes I just wonder when it will all just end,
U feel like u've seen it all, and tha kitchen sink.
So...that's just an introduction,
To what will be another one of those nights.
Tha kind where our heart dreams a dream,
Wondering when our takeoff will finally assume flight.
Assume, that's a wrong word,
For we know what that makes of you and me.
Perhaps that's my problem, just expecting success,
Almost like flinching before u actually get stung by a bee.
I just feel so close, and that's tough,
When ur inches away, what a taste.
The sense of urgency raises to ultra levels,
Cuz each moment u don't wanna waste.
So let's just speak from our heart,
And see where this all leads.
I'm gonna be honest, cuz I need this.
Tonight our soul and heart is gonna...bleed.
(Huge Breath)
I'm battling just within this diary,
How much to write, and what to say.
U wanna be as real as u can be,
U also want it to be read before a party,
Or after a church day.
People have told us so many things,
Especially from love ones following us from afar.
We still hear, may have been quiet,
Consider us the butterfly in the glass jar.
That's amazing those words came out,
For that's exactly how we feel.
Seems like everybody wants to look at us,
But nobody wants to open up tha seal.
I'm about to get loose tonight like Rick Rozay,
With nobody holding us back.
I wanna make a point or two,
Just to show who has the swagger of Morris Zack.
When u have an ego like ours,
Things can see twisted, and so easy.
He has it all, nothing bothers him.
True, but some things still get us queasy.
With more money, hotter looks,
The expectations become off the wall.
U ignore them, but no there are there,
Hoping that one bad step doesn't make you fall.
Tha thing, like others, I know,
That has us Off after the P.
Is why do I have to go through so much,
When can somebody finally see.
U feel like its like God has blinded the world,
And u walk around like ,"This ain't fair."
U have to break ur neck for certain attention,
When others get it like a zoo bear.
I thought "different is sexy",
And "the first shall be last."
But when the heat is hot in ur soul's kitchen,
U figure u'll never get to show ur fun of blast.
What's even worse, is having to trail blaze,
All with ur mouth shut.
Humility is now the name of tha game.
I feel like Scooby-Doo, not tha big one,
But the little Pup.
The confidence is there, faith still in tact,
So why aren't things moving at a better pace.
U feel like nobody can relate to you,
Feel like walking away from tha game like Brotha Mase.
I know, breathe, stretch, and shake,
And everything will be alright.
Those words echo in ur ear all the time,
Sooner or later I need to see it in sight.
The last few days have been super cool,
Who doesn't like hoops and a good party.
I've felt so hot to trot, just simply chillin',
Almost like 2006 sale featuring Ed Hardy.
Once u get a taste of the life,
It can hypnotize u into a frenzy.
Like nothing can throw u off ur cool,
Bottles, sexy girls, all just make u dizzy.
I'll get into tha girl thang in a minute,
Let me first pour out our soul.
Just tired of no one really seeing us,
Its like we've taken the route of a underground mole.
The kind where u know there there always,
Yet only see them when ur out for a backyard tan.
A simple look, has u saying, "That freakin' mole.",
Amazing the power in knocking over a trash can.
Maybe I just want too much,
Can u blame me,
I'm a kid 80s born, but made in the 90s.
Anna Nicole Smith, A Current Affair,
The allure of those red Baywatch tighties.
I always just dreamed of one day,
Being such a big star.
Believed it to tha max,
Didn't Disney say a wish would take you far.
People just don't understand,
How I feel like its more of a destiny.
To help people, and have the most fun,
Using the power of we, instead of...'me'.
I used to draw in our book,
Commercials with us starring in billboards high above.
Having our own shoe, being on the cover of a mag,
Nothing less than getting Hollywood love.
Recently though, we've been more outspoken,
Most of which of the route presented tough.
U get angry over this and that,
Why did that possible relationship have to be so rough.
And then to top it off, like a sundae cone,
Everybody telling u about their good life.
Expecting a kid here, got a new job there,
Then, of course, the, "I just got me a wife."
U become a little angry at God, like,
I'm doing the best, for this?
I gotta sacrifice, I gotta smile when I don't want to,
While I'm still waiting for my first Eskimo kiss?
It don't make no sense, and u just wonder,
Has all what we've been taught for waste.
I thought hard work pays off, or everybody gets 15 minutes of fame,
Now I gotta be on Bravo to get a taste?
This is as real as its gonna get,
Somebody is giving is screen a high-five.
So true, and I'm tired of this being calm stuff,
I want the finer things in life,
Without having to dumpster dive.
I know, I know, u saying, dude,
What more can you want?
South Beach livin', cash in tha wallet Burberry,
All these words are just a front.
Well, let me be real, are u ready,
Please hear me out with no fear.
Materialistically I do have it all and beyond,
Just our spiritually eyes are as big as a dear.
I know it's spelled "er" whatever, u get it,
Our heart knows that all things can be done.
While others have got their chance here and there,
Only one word can describe when we get ours...
Fun.
Preparation plus Opportunity, they claim,
This is the formula for success.
It's such a given in tha game of life,
Like J Lo wearing a body revealing Oscar worthy dress.
Standards of life, is important u see,
Its what makes one go the extra mile.
While others look at u crazy for doing another pushup,
U secretly know that u gotta be ready for Opp's dial.
That's the real test, see,
What do u do when nothing is what u see.
Everywhere u are surrounded by the life u can only dream,
Yet it's dark in ur tunnel of dreams,
And u wonder when will it finally be.
As I write this it's starting to hit us,
That this stage had to come to pass.
It's like u must be rejected, or
Have u drink "B" tossed in ur face,
Before everybody is willing to give up tha ...
At times its felt like I've been cursed,
Sitting in bed wondering what brought this to upon me.
Did I steal a candy bar? Did I diss a cool friend?
Should I have passed the ball more to my homeboy Doug Steinke?
When things don't go tha way you want them to go,
All these questions become fair game.
Tha analying never ends, although it did before it begins,
And after 3 hours u still feel tha same.
I'm holding on, though, don't get it twisted,
Even though this is tha weirdest period of my life.
When prayers don't get answered like u want them too,
The wonderment begins, "Is it even worth tha fight."
When u've been working hard for some time,
This is what begins to happen.
The journey looked back upon, and ahead,
Seems soooo long, and ur spirit kind of dampens.
U gotta hang in there, by any means,
Simply just somehow and someway.
Play games with ur mind, rewrite down ur goals,
Put in a marathon of Denzel ending with Training Day.
Something to get u motivated,
Just to realize it ain't over til tha fat lady sings.
And even though u hear her warming up her cords,
Until she's on stage, u still got a shot at tha thing.
Boy I haven't even talked about love have we,
I think I might save that for another time.
But what if it's our last time writing?
I guess I should elaborate on who I want to "Be Mine".
Somebody told me today like,
How being single can be fun.
I say this with a smile, cuz living in Miami,
It can be hard to settle just for one.
Now, now, don't let that scare a future prospects,
From knocking on our heart's door.
But let's be real up in here,
Living in Miami has taught me that,
Girls may have the highest nights of score.
That's one thing about our life,
And since its our diary its between u and me.
Every week, or everyday there is somebody different,
From the presence of cool and beautiful girls I cannot flee.
There's this one girl, dare I say,
That has caught Galaxia's eye.
Slender, and so sexy,
The other night all I could say was "My, My, My".
The next day, I texted one of my dudes,
Like what do you know about this girl.
I just couldn't take my eyes off of her for one night,
She hepo-jeebo'd "rock my world"!
I wish I could describe her in more detail,
But if I do, I know several would know.
I say this, she's so naturally beautiful, without makeup,
And so cool, I don't think she even knows or cares about tha dough.
She's a slept-on jewel,
Even though she shows one from the out set.
Just hearing her unique accent,
Makes me feel like she's tha one I must get.
Yet, my brotha and friend texted me back,
With some words from his heart.
He said, "Slow and steady wins tha race.",
I'm so excited over those words, where do I start?!!
As with love, and in life,
Being patient is can be the most overlooked key.
Don't rush things, get a good feel,
And then what will be will be.
I'm good, for I know tha deal,
If her cool, but I know that the choices are endless.
Now if somebody wants to be with us,
They gotta know we only get with tha best.
High expectations, perhaps,
But how can one go through a maze just for a toy?
I want more than that, and so shall we,
And her prize is the ultimate fun boy.
Not bragging, just reality,
We say that with no boast.
May have to go through a little crazy talk,
But after telling wild memories, u finally get to toast.
I'm done, For tonight,
Maybe for the rest of the year.
Just know I wanna and gonna give u our best.
I want u to one day say,
"I wish u were there."
That would be the ulitmate compliment,
As I make a fool out of myself time and time again.
Talking crazy, sharing intimate details,
I'm like DJ Khaled, so forgive me...
ALL I WANT TO DO IS WIN!
So I throw my hands up,
Not knowing what the future may hold.
The faith that remains, we'll use,
Turning this into the greatest tale ever told.
One with a goofy kid,
Only wanting to have fun.
One who has experienced almost everything,
Except skinny dipping without the sun.
We gonna keep fighting, and so shall you.
That's the only way it's gonna happen.
I don't know how or where,
One day we'll go from unknown to infinite amount of clapping.
That's how life is,
And now I truly see with eyes of our own.
U keep planting, keep watching,
And u'll soon reap what u've sown.
Fun and love are our seeds of choice,
We've just had a little rain on the way.
That rain must come though,
If not, nothing will ever grow.
The darkest hour is right before daybreak.
And no doubt the last 48 has been a killa.
But its over now,and our sound is gonna sound oh so sweet,
Like a song produced by J. Dilla.
Don't know who is he is,
That's on you to look him up to find.
I'm feeling better and can't wait now...
Perhaps going through tough times,
Is life's ultimate sign.
That ur on the right track,
Now ur ready for what truly awaits.
I've been wanting to say this for awhile...oh for so long...
"Hi, my name is Austin...
And it's a pleasure to finally meet you...
Mr. Destiny...and Ms. Fate."
Austino Galaxia.
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